October 6, 2023

Eventually I fully arise and entered a warm bath. I asked myself, with purpose this time, “Why does this mechanism exist inside you? Why did you once need it? Why do find little enjoyment in fun? Why is it so difficult to untense your body and enjoy the full breadth of being?” Without forcing any thought processes or lines of reasoning, I let the thoughts come as they please… like waiting on the wind to arrive. It may have been 15 minutes to an hour later that a particular memory vividly presented itself from nothingness; an aged memory that I believe came with answers.