Petal’s Cosmic Bouquet

I

It was Petal’s duty to visit and comfort her grandfather in his final days. She searched her thoughts for the most beautiful object to soothe his spirits and, given his limited mobility, she headed to Florist Dina requesting the very best bouquet a twenty could afford. “My grandfather is ill and, being his only remaining grand-daughter, I would like to please him with a splendid bouquet of flowers.” Florist Dina assessed Petal and drew inspiration from her figure as she knew very well the presentation of a bouquet is entangled with its carrier. 

Petal beamed a radiant luminosity, as poised as a daisy dancing in the wind. Her contagious grin struck the skies to the earth with the golden glimmer of honey. Even so, an endlessly worrisome mind obstructed her own true powers as the prospect of losing her beloved grandfather – whom she loved beyond any man – was soon to depart the great show.

After a short wait, Florist Dina appeared with the elegant bouquet; vivid lavender purples, soft pastel-yellow tulips, light pink dahlias, and orange marigold; a sunflower tied the piece amid a cloud of white yarrow. With sorrowful pride Petal paid and parted, bouquet in hand.

On such a melancholic day the sun shone absolutely and indifferently through an unobstructed sky, and birds could be heard chirping, as if mockingly. Petal boarded a bus which would bring her roughly halfway to grandfather; then she’d need to traverse a mall, then through an underground parking lot, finally arriving.

II

Each time her mind was brought to her grandfather’s illness, like clockwork a tear would slash her heart and one would fall from her eye. “Why does this mind create its own misery? I feel as I am enslaved to this uncontrollable terror.” Her mind being occupied with streams of thought failed to realize the blind man bending towards the bouquet, with his nose hovering above.

“My dear, though I cannot see, what a tremendous pleasure it is to again smell the fragrance of flowers in proximity. The sweet lavender I can taste upon my tongue. And the tulips – these my mother advised me to steal from our neighbor when I was a young boy and could still see; those were red, these are yellow, however, as the scent is more subdued. Such wondrous scents should only exist in better worlds, and yet here it is. For a blind man, better luck could not befall a saint as these have fallen under my nose. Please accept my deepest appreciation as a way to lighten your burden, my young one. You are in the presence of infinite beauties, cease your frown.” Petal concluded the man to be taken by blindness as the reason for his eccentric monologue.

III

Reaching her stop, Petal stepped off the bus towards the mall. Flanking her path to the entrance were rose beds. Suddenly, two bees rose from the bed and darted for the bouquet. In ecstasy at their finding, they eagerly fed on the available nectar. Petal observed quietly as the bees hastily grabbed their desired objects and traced a figure-eight above the bouquet before vanishing in plain sight.

Time dilated as Petal passed through the mall. She sensed every movement made by shoppers. What futility she thought. There, a woman’s indecision upon the variety of gold rings. Closeby a man inhales a hotdog. A teenage girl with ears covered by headphones. Large portrait posters outstretched over storefronts with images of thin and heavy women, some with forgivable, others with ample breasts. As well and in fairness, the images of a bulletproof male model in tiny underwear and a gap between his two front teeth. The man with the hotdog could be seen staring at the image of the model, and then down at his own protruding gut. The endless, dull background noise of a familiar song ringing out in the lifeless halls of the mall, overpowering the minds of shoppers with a false sense of ease. And that song mixing with another played by each individual shop. A large fountain with pressurized ejections shot up a mass of backlit water several dozen feet, causing onlookers to gawk as it descends in a splash that should only entertain a child. There are infinite futilities to enjoy here; how strange that such a place exists, drawing the willing with only trivial embellishments.

IV

At last reaching the elevator, Petal entered with a woman already travelling inside. They nodded in acknowledgement of each other’s presence, but Petal could feel the woman’s gaze set upon her. She looked over to find the woman with an unflinching smile, one that evoked a nightmarish vividness. Holding the smile steady she spoke through it, “Such a bouquet you carry with you today – and what a juxtaposition to the stiff enclosure we stand in. Young woman you have come to grace this elevator and myself in this moment with an undeniable radiance. I feel as if we have both been sent from eons ago, from a time before time, when even matter was cease. The two of us share the two fundamental attributes; the force which produced us, and the reality to which this force appears.

“A feeling of inseparability has dawned on me. I feel to exist as the flowers and the flowers as me. For how could the flowers be said to exist without the ability to perceive them? And conversely, how could we claim to perceive without the flowers? How could this space which you and I stand in itself exist without its perception? The word exists cannot be separated from perception. Where is the proof that before perception the world was? May a universe be said to exist if no perception flourishes within it, or if no perception may be brought upon it by theorems and instruments? In the alleged times before perception, when only matter existed, what could claim matter’s existence? Existence is only permitted and understandable by witnessing it.

“And where does the locus of perception sit? As I glance at these flowers its reflected colors of light enter my eyes and, through infinitely complex mechanisms becomes a vibration which spreads across my inner body, finally coming to exist within me. Where is that place in me that can fit this whole world of appearances and yet never hold a single atom of it within itself?

“This world is a dream, and nothing but. Upon sleep the body rests and yet we watch another world – one shorter and more unbelievable. We know very well the witness of the dream never shuts its eyes; thus, what is truly sleeping? How can there be an observing witness of a dream who is simultaneously said to be asleep? At the threshold moment between wake and dream, what are you? And what then, in deep sleep, when the curtains cover even the dream, is being perceived? How does a being transcend pain in deep sleep? Your true nature does not sleep, does not wake, does not suffer nor enjoy; it is the eternal witness of this great show. The world of objects, or nature, is a paradox to be simultaneously taken seriously and brushed off like the fleeting streak of a lit matchstick traced in darkness; both real and unreal; concurrently bringing fright as the magician saws his assistant in half, all the while acknowledging the trick is merely an appearance where not even a pinprick of harm befalls the latter.

“Think my dear, for this fountain of knowledge is difficult to come by in a single lifetime. Were these flowers, or even I, created? Every effect has a cause, and every cause itself must be an effect which was born out of some prior cause. Any thing created is an effect of its cause. Your birth is the effect from the cause which is your mother. And so on the chain goes backwards to… when? A single creator is a contradiction, since if he may produce the effect of this universe, then he himself is a cause, thus he himself should be an effect of some prior cause; a first-cause without a prior cause is an impossibility. From this, we must conclude that the chain of causality does not go back to an initial cause, but rather goes on infinitely forward and back; it is beginningless and endless. That which has a beginning and an end is false – that which has neither is Real. Since all perceivable phenomena have beginnings and ends, they are unreal. What then has instantiated this place? My dear, a world which goes on with infinite causes can never be a creation, but it may bring comfort to think as such. Reality is defined by non-origination, merely an appearance. Live with ultimate strength backed by this knowledge; flowers or not, it is your internal smile that is indestructible.”

The elevator doors opened and the woman disappeared into the bends and turns of the underground parking space. Petal’s palms were soaked and her mind alit with an existential fog which would later settle to a profound confidence, like the dough which becomes bread through heating then cooling.

V

The automatic doors to the hospital were in view, and her thoughts slowly shifted to her grandfather. She could imagine him now, sitting in bed staring at the nearest wall, wondering how much time is left. What would greet him afterwards?

At the threshold of his room stood a long-bearded man in a fully black gown exuding a deep pervasive presence. Of his voice, Petal only heard the brief reverberation of a closing remark towards her grandfather. As the man turned towards her she felt her heart freeze in time as his eyes pierced her.

“Good day Petal. I am acting as your grandfather’s solace. He has described you, but he has evidently not done justice. Your presence overpowers my words of comfort. And this bouquet alongside you brings a magnificent aura to these dreary walls.”

Uncontrollably curious, Petal questioned, “Sir, these flowers have brought the strangest occurrences upon me today. In just an hour, a blind man lit up with joy at their scent, bees delightfully extracted their nectar, and a woman in bliss claimed to become them, and them, her. I have not yet presented them to grandfather and yet what a tremendous effect these mere flowers have had already. Despite this I have a sense of dreariness upon me that I cannot shake, and for me the flowers are doing nothing but tiring my arms. Why is it other beings have enjoyed where I have not?”

Without the need to gather a response, the man began, “My dear Petal there are things to be understood which, when understood, clarify the rest. Through the senses each being inherits the impressions of nature and through them becomes influenced. Through these impressions, desires are formed; likes and dislikes, attachments and aversions. From these, beings are drawn to and away from objects. Today the blind man, in his experience of lack-of-sight, has drawn attention to his sense of smell and is pushed and pulled by it. The bees have fed on the flowers because of their adherence to their own sensory system. And the woman who became the flowers was triggered by the beautiful sight to reveal associated memories of her study on the fundamental relationship between object and perception. So, you see that through the interface of the mind each being generates their appropriate reaction depending on the sensory system in question and the associated accumulated desires stored as impressions over untold lifetimes; each are here to work through their desires to ultimately realize existence is beyond desire and the acquisition of objects thereof.

“I must warn you of the subtle danger nested in this fact. An object itself does not contain an innate ability to bring joy or happiness. For how is it that what a cow releases from its anus the dung beetle consumes through its mouth? And the latter even has preference on its quality. One man living in a peaceful territory has no desire for weaponry, while a man in a war-torn land seeks it to survive. Humans have difficulty realizing it, and thus spend their entire life toiling after objects which at one moment bring them joy and another terrible suffering. For the unwise, the acquisition of a pet is a heartwarming experience; for the wise all the outcome emotions are understood to be contained within the moment of acquisition of the pet. Knowing this, reduce ownership of all things unnecessary and of which you are unwilling to suffer. Even the lifeless objects acquired will bind you to their maintenance and reliance. Beings go on shining vehicles, jewelry, screens, shoes, and become enslaved to their upkeep. Some even become over encumbered by ownership and must abstract the maintenance to others at a cost; gardens to be kept by gardeners, children to be cared for by caretakers, homes cleaned by maids. I echo the sentiment; reduce such bindings. Live simply and your mind will converge to greater depths of silence and understanding.

“Thus it is not the flowers themselves which contain the beauty. What has been perceived as precious in your flowers is a superimposition of the mind’s preference upon the flowers. However, the unwise will leverage objects to render life temporarily bearable – in truth the wise attain bliss beyond objects. Bliss and the witness consciousness are no different, and desire is what hinders it. We experience this each moment without its recognition; for one sheds her desire for ice-cream once she is eating it, and at the time of consumption a sliver of instantaneous bliss may be felt through this temporary cessation of desire. By dismissing attachments to desires, one may access this bliss which is only covered by desire. Fools will call this deprivation but do not be moved by them; they take a subtle idea and rob it of its natural conclusion. Without desire, the mind does not toil after future outcomes, nor does it sink in the sorrows of past ones in regret and guilt, but exists as an unchanging force experiencing the world of change.”

Petal became confused, “But these flowers, who could find them undesirable? You claim that flowers themselves do not contain beauty, yet have not shown me how they could be felt as repugnant.”

The man grinned, aware that his words have reached their limit, “My dear Petal, please enter the room here and visit your grandfather as you have both long awaited this moment.” He kissed her forehead and vanished.

VI

Petal’s legs began to weaken and tremble as she started for the door. Her grandfather’s withering body slowly came into view. His eyes locked with Petal’s as she approached his bedside, and he grew a smile. She exclaimed, “My beloved grandfather, I have had such strange experiences today in bringing you this present. Please enjoy these flowers; I will place them beside you for your enjoyment. They truly are beautiful, are they not?”

As Petal stared at her grandfather’s eyes, they filled with tears and his chin began to quiver. Soon his entire face took an ugly distortion into despair as he cried, “Remove from my eyes these grotesque flowers! How could you bring them knowing my condition!? Should you also repeat for me the names of my children that I must leave behind? Show me their photos and stick them to my eyes why don’t you! Why not bring the teller to remind me of my life savings? Have you not thought to purchase me a ticket to visit the emerald havens of Switzerland? I curse all the experiences of the world! What was the use of any of them? I have spent an entire lifetime to only resent them now… It is truly over for me… Agh!”

Grandfather’s final shriek reverberated in the room and stored itself into Petal’s heart. For years she could not un-hear the sound of that final moment. And for years she went on despising the beautiful flowers which surrounded her.

VII

Sitting on a park bench pondering life’s contradictions and frustrations, Petal thought back to that impactful day. Suddenly, a curiosity arose in her, “I have been so overpowered by fright from grandfather’s final moment that I have entirely forgotten the occurrences of that day. The bearded man in black, what did he tell me?”

Petal dug the recesses of her mind for his utterances, and recalled only a short phrase:

I must warn you of the subtle danger nested in this fact. An object itself does not contain an innate ability to bring joy or happiness.

At this moment she had the sudden realization of what had happened. She looked to the countless flowerbeds outstretched in front of her and exclaimed, “What truth this man expounded! And I could not even see it, even after experiencing it first hand! These flowers which I have gone on to hate for years have again become desirable, but through a renewed beauty. It is not in them, but in me.” From this day forward Petal’s mind unified into a peaceful stream running on the banks of this profound knowledge.